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Friday, July 16, 2004

Slackerdom and the art of laziness

What is a Slacker?
A Slacker is a person who prioritizes his life differently to the rest of the human race. He values free time, and relaxation equally as highly as work or play. By giving more time to the former aspects of life, a slacker goes through life not endlessly running from one thing to the next, but being able to take time in which to marvel at the complexity and wondrous world around us.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not see slacking as a way of life like some of us, and therefore you may be branded as lazy (or other less polite terms). This is the unbelievers' way but you can take pleasure in the fact that you have a rich life, and are not endlessly chasing that which in life is unattainable.
 
How Do I Become a Slacker?
Slacking is not a destination, merely the road on which we walk. The way of the slacker is not necessarily a difficult one, although it can pose significant problems to those of a more materialistic lifestyle.
Every single human being has it within him or herself to become a slacker. It is merely expressing that innate urge that distinguishes us from them. To become a slacker, most people will generally have to cut down on their workload, to free up time to expand the mind. Also dreams of success may have to be curbed in order to realize the slacking ideals.
The mind must be pushed towards gaining happiness from other facets of life. Reject material dreams. Instead shift the balance of life to friends, family, and improving yourself. Do not work all the hours that God gives us, that is the way of strife, stress and unhappiness. Allocate a certain amount of time a week to nothing. This is the "slack". Use these hours to clear any nagging problems, and then for something that YOU enjoy. In this way, it is easy to get the things that need done finished, yet allowing time for yourself.
Don't work as hard. Work should be enough to sustain yourself and your family, and also pay for a few luxuries. It should not control your life from beginning to end, with very little else in between.
 
The Laws Of Slackerdom
It has been brought to my attention that the slackers of the world may need some form of guidance on the ways of slacking and hence I have developed some lines on which to base your slacking pursuits.
1. As little as possible should be done before 10:00 a.m.
2. Personal space should be kept as a shrine to slacking, and therefore should irregularly be cleaned - badly.
3. Time should be made for all slackers when met, to allow communion and foster a society of thought.
4. A nap taken mid-afternoon (a siesta) is advisable, to allow proper function later in the day.
5. Don't work as hard.
6. Slacking should never be used as an excuse. If one is required, then the task was not worth while anyway.
 
Represent
To spread the word of enlightenment, a campaign must be held. The slogans below will allow the unbelievers to make there own mind up, and foster the correct sense of the art. These used with the web address will encourage them to find out about slacking for themselves. This will start them on the path, although communing with other slackers is the only way to develop the art fully.
1 "No Gain , No Pain"
2 "The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up"
3 "Life Is a race in which no-one wins. So Why Run?"

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